South Korea and other stories

#NSFF

For the ones that don't know, when I was 18 I went to South Korea for 6 weeks. It was my first travel alone and outside of Europe. It was a super exciting and thrilling experience and I couldn't wait to go and be able to explore on my own. I think because I was so young and just finished high school and because I didn't really know what I wanted to do in my life (I still don't know if I'm being really honest 🙃), I was very eager to go and discover who I was as a person.

Earlier that same year I was working in a bakery in the south of England. It was super picturesque as it was in the middle of nowhere and very British. It was my first job as well and I was very free in how I would spend my day working; baking cakes in the bakery, or serving coffees in the café!. It was the first time where I felt like an adult (even though I wasn't, is what I realise now hihi) and I felt very independent. I didn't get paid for the whole 2 months i worked there but oh well... I still see it as a very fun and cool experience!

I didn't have to pay for rent or food though, so maybe that weights it out haha

So a couple months after my British experience I realised I still wasn't ready to be a student (I ended up never being a student lol :p) so I decided to save up money to travel, somewhere, still not knowing where. Now this is also the time I REALLY got into Kpop and Kdramas. I was kind of obsessed, and one time I made a joke I could just go to Korea. So that is what I ended up doing, if you didn't know that already with the title and all!..

I worked in a supermarket, made some waffles, baked some cakes and I was able to book my flight. So it all got very official once I decided going.

Around that same time I made a profile on tinder. I always had been very much into dating, or something close to dating. I was 18 and didn't have a lot of experience. My first kiss was one of my best friends that kissed me on new years because I told her I never had been kissed. It was not planned or anything, drunk teenage girls, you know how that goes :) Or you don't and it's just with my friends lol.

When younger I was always very good in imagining romantic situations with guys that were never going to happen. But I didn't know it at that time. I had a massive crush that lasted more than 10 years on this guy in primary school, wrote hil letters, made him gifts and he never reciprocated my feelings :/ But I never gave up and kept on trying, which some people might call a stalker.

I went to high school and there was a whole new world of guys opening up to me, (don't get me wrong, I still had my crush from primary school though, but there was just new meat for me to explore, if you get what i mean ;)

No I'm joking, as I said I was still very inexperienced and still very romantic. Writing love letters to everyone who wanted one, and even the ones who didn't want one. It was a very awkward period for me, and it continued being awkward even when I switched schools and cities. That's also the time I started reading 3 romantic books a week. They were feeding my imagination even more and it was an amazing time to be the loser of the class. I didn't have any friends but I did have my imaginary boyfriend who would give me flowers and twirl me around in the air hihi.

Eventually I made a tinder account because my book boyfriend wasn't enough anymore. I was swiping and texting like crazy. I loved having those short interactions with those internet strangers. It was daring and thrilling as I was also very open about everything to those guys.

I realise now maybe that wasn't the best idea... I was young and not taking the best decisions. If I'm also being very honest, I think it altered my idea of love, and how it's actually supposed to be. But maybe that's for another chapter hehe

I realise I still didn't get to the part where I actually leave for Korea, I got lost a little bit there :))

Right before leaving to Korea, like we're talking 2 weeks before my flight, I was talking to this guy from tinder. I thought he was very attractive and very cool so I was kind of intimidated. But we decided to meet up, it was my first date so I was super stressed. I got delayed at my waffle baking job and when I arrived on the meeting spot he was already gone..

I waited and texted him, he wanted me to come over at his place. At that point I was still a virgin so was scared to meet a guy at his appartement :o , so I didn't see him that evening. We tried to meet up a second time, I was still stressed, we sat near a fountain (I realise that I might have a thing for fountains.. ), we got some drinks, he smoked a joint, i got a bit drunk, he got a bit high, we were singing and dancing in Brussels. We got to the canal that goes through the city and we started holding hands. When we stopped running and dancing my heart was racing as I realised he was getting closer to kiss me. At the edge of the water, in between shady cars I got my first kiss. It was thrilling, we touched each other and moved together. We were close to having sex but then the headlights of a car went on and I realised we were out in the open, and it was my first time, and that I had to get home with public transport (the last bus was going to leave soon so had to be quick).

My parents thought that I was hanging out with one of my best friends, that was a little lie. You always have to have some kind of secret with your parents at that age, am I right? So after all the heated kissing and grinding , I texted my dad asking if he could get me at the bus stop, and he called his roommate to see if he could get home. We rode the metro together in the same direction for a while until he had to get off. It was all very exhilarating for me as everything was a first, and I really thought he was going to be my boyfriend for a while lolz.

That same week we met up another time, but that time we immediately went to his appartement. (This is the moment i'm going to tell you about my first time, if you don't wanna know the details skip this following paragraph please hihi)

I remember he had to go and get the keys from his roommate and as I joined him I was thinking "isn't it obvious that i'm with this guy? Isn't it obvious we're going to kiss and maybe do even more?" (I was still very innocent at that time, don't laugh). We got to his appartement, he made me some tea (which I thought was very cute), we got settled in his sofa, watched some comedy show on Netflix and started chillin', before Netflix and chill was a thing. We moved to the bed, got undressed and starting having sex. When I look back at it now, it was actually really bad... And okay, for most people their first time is not great but he was older and already had more experience than me and it was still so bad that I was even I was thinking "hmmm, is it supposed to feel this way?..."

Oh and the best part; his roommate walked in, so GREAT experience overall !!

There was still one week left before I had to take my flight to Korea, I had sex for the first time, I wanted more. So I texted him multiple times until he answered. We met up 2 more times and i thought he was the love of my life. Until i actually landed in Korea and he ghosted me... This was the first of many 😀👍

More in the next blog !!

Bisous,

Lise

(i didn't proof read so don't come at me pls xx)